what are some good jokes?

Lenard Ginyard: Yo mamma is so fat,I took a picture with her last christmas and its still printing. Your Birth Certificate is an apology from the condom factory. You must have been born on the highway because thats where most accident happens. Yo mamma is so fat she got arrested at the airport for 10 pounds of CRACK

Cuc Gire: why did the chicken cross the road?to get to the other side!!!i dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned. burn! that's what she said! what!? i didn't even mean to say that! i meant to send that to my mom. :)...Show more

Janean Guz: yo mama is so fat when she went swimming in the ocean all the whales started singing "we are family"

Thomas Riner: So the judge asked the hooker "Wen did you first notice you got raped"The hooker said"Wen the check bounced"

Alden Soldano: This one is meant to be used vocally, so think of someone SAYING this to you:Q: What do you call a fish with no ey! es?A: A "fshhhh"---- Okay, here's another quick yet funny one.So a black guy, a Mexican and a Jew walk into a bar, and the bartender says "What is this? Some kinda joke?"...Show more

Delphine Cajka: Yo mama is sooo fat she got had to get baptized in sea world and your mother is sooo poor she has to take the trash INand yooo mamaaa is soo fat when she walked in front of the TV i missed 3 commercials

August Hubbard: if a girl is being a beeotchyou say:"what'd u have for breakfast this morning? carnation instant *****?"heheso funny=)

Lissette Semon: hmm some may be offensive, but all good jokes will be offensive to someonewhy did the blonde have square boobs? cos she forgot the take the tissues out of the boxwhats the advantage of taking a blonde shopping?you can park in the handicapped zoneNEWSFLASH!!500,000 dead in pakistan after earthquakeaustrailia sending shelterusa sending foodbradford sending replacementsYo momma's so stupid, she got ran over by a park! ed carYo momma's so fat that when she went into space, she got! stuckYo momma's so fat that when she was lying in the road, i swerved around her and ran out of petrolwhats michael jackson and a playstation got in commen?both are made out of plastic and both get turned on by kidshmm i got more, but they may be a bit offensive, i was skeptical about putting some of those on, but im hoping that people will take them in the joking spirit...Show more

Marti Declue: yo mamma so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out! im gonna slap you so hard your grandchildren are gonna feel it!

Keneth Mailhot: here is one:Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to! try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy.""That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.The s! econd man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, a! nd again asks for his story."It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.The third man came to the front of the line, and ! St. Peter asked for his story."Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."â•"â•—â•"═╦╗â•'â•šâ•£â•'â•'╚╗╚═╩═╩═╝...Show more

Ramona Pago: There are good jokes in dontmakemelaugh.com!!

Carolynn Testani: here's a few;Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no PROFESSIONALS! Yo mama so ugly, that if ugly were bricks, she'd have her own projects. Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, "CATS" try to bury her.your mamma is so funky, she used secret and it told on her!your mamma is so fat she needs a 12-piece bikini.your mamma is so old, she reads the bible and reminises. your mamma's cooking is so bad, the homeless gives it back.SHALL I GO ON?Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.Yo mama's ! so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear!! " Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu. Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them. Yo mama's so fat, she got it goin' on. . . and on, and ooon and ooon and ......Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her "good side."Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is REAL.Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it crys, "Uncle!"Yo mama's so fat, that Fat Albert gave her the rights to say "Hey, hey, hey!"Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her a dinosaur. Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's "Thanksgiving Day Parade". . . wearing ROPES. Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet SOAP.Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor g! ave her 7 MORE years to live. Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade. Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.................enough already!...Show more

Agustina Stimmel: Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones. Yo mama so stupid she had you.Yo mama so fat she went to an amusement park and people tried to ride her.Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her showerYo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.There were three people in an airplane. One dropped an apple out. Another dropped a banana and another dropped a grenade.The three later decided to go for a walk! . They came upon a kid who said an apple killed his dog. They continued! their walk and came across a person who said a banana killed their cat. They then come upon a women who's laughing her a** off. They ask her what's so funny and she says she farted and the building behind her blew up....Show more

Pattie Vold: COMEBACKSyour momthat's what she said(if you're tall talking to a short person)what's that?well you know what? (wait for reply) I don't know! I was hoping you would!YO MAMAyo mama is soo fat that when she stepped in the ocean, she said"why we in the kiddie pool?"yo mama is soo fat, i got lost trying to get around her!Yo mama is soo ugly that when she entered an ugly contest they said"Sorry man no pros"Yo mama is soo uncoordinated that when she threw a rock she missed the groundyo mama is soo poor that when someone stepped on a cigaretteshe said"who turned off the heater?"yo mama is soo poor she ran after the garbage truck yelling"COME BACK WITH MY HOUSE!!!"yo mama is soo poor she can't aford free stuffyo mama is soo poor she ran! after the garbage truck with a grocery listyo mama is soo poor she goes to KFC to lick peoples fingersyo mama is soo heavy that when she stepped on a scale it said"one at a time please!"yo mama is soo heavy that when she stepped on a scale, it read your phone number!yo mama is soo stupid that she needed help on the breathing testyo mama is soo stupid she studied for a blood testyo mama is soo fat that when she sat on the middle on the road with her yellow raincoat a mom pushed her child oout the door saying"Hurry sweetie you'll miss the bus!"Yo mama is soo stupid she ran after a bus full of white people yelling "TWINKIE!"JOKEon a plane the load was getting heavy soo the pilot said that some people had to jump off. So a french guy jums off and says"Au revior!". Then a deaf AND blind guy falls out of the plane thinking it was a door to the restroom. After that a texan yells" FOR THE ALAMO!" and pushes a mexican out the door.How do you brain wash a blonde?Blow in her earA blo! nde was at work and she got a call saying that her mom died and was soo! upset that her boss told her to go home. About two hours later the boss sees the blonde again but this time, she's laughing! He asks her "What's soo funny? I thought your mom just died!" And the blonde replies giggling" I called my sister and told her what happened and guess what?""What?""She said someone called and told her that her mom died too!!"...Show more

Caroyln Ebach: yo mamas so black and her teeth are so yellow that she looks like the pittsburgh steelers.(no offense to steeler fans cuz im a steeler fan) PITTSBURGH BABY